


Seiryleigh

by DoomKitteh



Series: Seirixori Has Feelings [4]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Queertical Role
Genre: BUT ITS ALSO ADORABLE, F/F, This hurts me, but I had to break up DF and ugh lol, but i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomKitteh/pseuds/DoomKitteh
Summary: This is after semi-current events in our game. Assuming a few things didn't happen so these other things can happen... lol Just the pain and loss along the way to finding another love.





	Seiryleigh

**Author's Note:**

> THIS HURT ME BUT I LOVE IT

She breaks the bow into small pieces, just smashing it into the ground. Before she knows it, there’s a flame in her hand and just as she's about to set the wood on fire she stops. She stops because she can’t see. She’s crying so hard her vision’s impaired and she can hardly catch her breath. She slams her hand into the ground, the flame going out, she’s hunches over as heaving sobs rack her body and she lets out a yell. A mournful, sorrowful, heart wrenching wail so loud that it can be heard from a mile away, and it slowly turns into the roar of a bear, the screech of a dinosaur, the howl of a wolf, and the tiny mewl of a kitten before it tapers off in her own voice again. “Please, help me. It hurts so much, please, make it stop...” She whispers, her voice hoarse, and then passes out.

 

Takara emerges from thin air, sadness adorning her features. “I wish I could do more for you.” She whispers and picks up Seir, for a moment, just a moment, she thinks of taking Seir to the cask, to be with her companions, but she shakes her head. There’d been enough interference with the young tiefling’s life, she was not going to make the choice for her. Not yet. Instead she heads to the cave and places her in one of the caverns, leaving a few gifts and a small illusion in case anything dangerous tries to make its way in.

 

Seir wakes with a groan and pain all over. She blinks, trying to focus but she can’t, not really. The previous day plays in her head over and over and she just lies there, staring at nothing. She can’t even concentrate long enough to magic herself food. Time passes, how much she doesn’t know and she’s starting to feel like she had those days after everyone was killed.

 

She manages to push herself up and take a look around, surprised by her surroundings. She sees the small waterskin a few feet away from her and dried meat and doesn’t question it, she nearly drains the waterskin, but only takes a few bites of the meat before lying back down. She’ll get up and move around when she wakes up again.

 

She doesn’t wake of her own accord. Instead it’s to a familiar voice, she’s almost disappointed at which one.

 

“I promised Mielikki I would look after you, but you’re making it a little difficult to keep that promise.” Takara says to her.

 

“I’m sorry.” Seir whispers, her voice cracks from unuse.

 

Takara shakes her head, “I would have let you be a few more days before disturbing you but… well one of your… friends is outside.”

 

Seir finally moves to sit up, it’s slow, but she manages, “Oh?” Her face is void of any emotion, but the hope in her voice betrays her.

 

“I’m sorry, it is not who you were hoping for.”

 

Seir slumps and let’s out a rueful laugh, “I’m… I’m not really surprised.”

 

“Seirixori?”

 

When she looks up, Takara is gone and Ryleigh is standing several feet away from her. She can see the clear hesitation from Ryleigh and Seir doesn’t do anything to relieve her of it.

 

“You’re still here, in Vyon.”

 

“So it would seem.”

 

“Everyone… everyone else went home.”

 

The pause makes Seir’s breath catch and she asks what she already knows. “Everyone?”

 

“Yes. Gunnloda as well. We had a … disagreement.”

 

“Does she hate me?” Seir asks in a small voice.

 

“No, Seirixori, no.” Ryleigh moves forward and kneels in front of her, reaching out but she doesn’t touch her. “She just… I don’t think she knows how to handle your anger.”

 

“It’s okay, I don’t know how to handle it either.” Seir laughs, tries to, but it comes out as a sob instead. “How did you find me?”

 

Ryleigh shifts, clearly uncomfortable, but she reaches into one of her small pouches and pulls out the small wooden figure Seir had given to Gunnloda. “She gave it to me just before she left with Kendall… and Stool.” She reaches out again and Seir doesn’t move to stop her as Ryleigh places a hand on her shoulder, “Seirixori, I’m sorry.”

 

“What for? You didn’t do anything wrong. No one ever does, just me.” She starts sobbing into her hands.

 

Ryleigh clenches her fist in anger at the circumstances but she takes a moment to settle herself and slowly pulls Seir into her arms, shushing her and telling her it’ll be okay. Neither of them believe it.

 

~*~*~

 

Seir does end up going back to Ardabeh. Two weeks pass before Ryleigh shows up. She watches in controlled anger as she sees Seir getting yelled at by several humans and elves, one or two actually reach out and pull angrily at Seir’s broken horn and Ryleigh can’t stop herself from moving forward and drawing Dawnbringer as she shouts, “Stop!”  The two that were touching Seir freeze, unwillingly, and they look around in confusion.

 

There’s barely any recognition in Seir’s eyes, but Ryleigh doesn’t give it any thought just yet as she moves to stand in front of her, making sure to place herself between Seir and her assaulters. “By Asten’s will, I will strike you down where you stand if you even _look_ at her again.”

 

They all take a few steps back, now that someone is actively confronting them, their bravery from earlier vanishes. “What do you care about this _useless half-devil?”_ One of them spits out.

 

Ryleigh glances back at Seir and is surprised to see no reaction to the words, “I care plenty about this _person_.” Ryleigh growls and Dawnbringer flares with her words.

 

An older woman comes into view, she gives no indication that she’s surprised by the situation or the new guest. Her eyes land on Seirixori, “She’s waiting for you.”

 

Seir nods and stands, her eyes not leaving the ground. She pauses just before she passes Ryleigh and rests and hand on the arm that’s holding Dawnbringer. “It’s okay.” She whispers, then disappears in the opposite direction the older woman came from.  

 

Ryleigh moves to follow her but the older woman is gripping her gauntlet, and the grip is stronger than Ryleigh would believe by appearance alone. “This is not for you to see. And…” the woman pauses, looking behind her at the surly druids, “this is her fight, not yours.”

 

“Like the hells it isn’t!” Ryleigh snarls.

 

“There are some fights one must do alone, this is hers.” The woman says, her voice is calm and gives no indication of being frightened by Ryleigh’s presence.

 

“ _Has she not been alone long enough?”_  Ryleigh nearly shouts. The woman opens her mouth to speak but Ryleigh cuts her off, “Someone needs to fight for her, _with_ her.”

 

The woman just hums and placatingly pats Ryleigh’s armored shoulder and then points to a tent that’s clearly away from the others and far worse for wear, “She will meet you in her tent when Mielikki is finished speaking to her.”

 

Ryleigh frowns and folds her arms, clearly intent on staying right where she is. The woman chuckles. “She will not be coming back this way. So long as you do not disturb them you can do as you wish, you will not be stopped.” And she walks away.

 

Ryleigh stays there for several minutes before finally dropping her stance and marches over to Seir’s tent. She stands outside of it, like she’s guarding it. She ignores the glares and curious stares from the other druids. An hour passes before Seirixori makes her appearance.

 

Seir passes her with only a glance and enters her tent. Ryleigh continues to wait outside. Barely a minute goes by before Seirixori walks out again. “Is that everything?” Ryleigh asks quietly and Seir just nods.

 

Ryleigh sighs at the lack of interaction, but doesn’t push. She leads them out, only stopping at the edge of the camp where the old woman from before is there waiting for them. Seir moves forward and the old woman holds out a large black folded piece of cloth. Anger flashes across Seir’s face and it’s the first sign of emotion Ryleigh has seen since arriving. She reaches for Dawnbringer, but Seir’s muttered thanks stops her.

 

The old woman nods, and looks a little sad. There are words spoken, but Ryleigh cannot hear them and Seir doesn’t give any reaction. The old woman leaves and Seir takes the lead and takes them to the nearest road. Her body relaxing the farther away they get from the druid camp.

 

Once they reach the outskirts of the forest Seir stops and turns to Ryleigh. “Thank you. For… for a lot of things.”

 

Ryleigh nods, “I promised I'd come get you.”

 

The smile Seir gives doesn’t reach her eyes but Ryleigh somehow knows it’s genuine, despite the mysterious hurt that Ryleigh won’t ask about. Seir turns back around, takes a few steps and then stops again, she clears her throat. “I uh… don’t know where we’re going.”

 

Ryleigh laughs, but she stops almost immediately, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I… Omubagi.”

 

Seir nods, “You spoke to her again?” She asks quietly.

 

“Yes. She clearly still cares for you,” Ryleigh starts, but Seir stops her.

 

“I suppose there’s a lot to say about something that starts out in a crisis. It was not meant to last anyway.” Seir’s voice wavers and she struggles to keep the calm facade she’s put up.

 

“Seirixori,” Ryleigh places a hand on Seir’s shoulder.

 

Seir looks over her shoulder and shrugs. “I’ve lost people before, what’s another?” She forges ahead and Ryleigh doesn’t say anything else.

 

Seir leads her through the outskirt of the forest, and Ryleigh starts to notice how much longer it’s taking them than when she originally made her way through. “I am surprised you’re taking us the long way.”

 

“Force of habit, really. But also…” Seir stops, thinks for a moment, then shrugs, “Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter, especially since you’re here.”

 

Ryleigh’s about to ask what she means but Seir leads them to the road and instantly Ryleigh can feel the shift in the air. The shift from the people on the road, and the shift from Seirixori. Many of the travelers stop speaking altogether, others whispering to each other in quick, hushed voices. All but a few give them a wide berth. The ones that don’t steer clear almost make a move to confront them, not knowing (or caring about) the symbol on Ryleigh’s shield, the alarm at the unsheathed sword helps to keep them at bay.

 

Seir shakes her head, not even having to look at Ryleigh, “They aren’t worth your anger. And from what little I know, it shouldn’t surprise you either.”

 

“Of course it doesn’t,” Ryleigh spits out, “That doesn’t mean I have to tolerate it!”

 

“I know,” Seir smiles, and it nearly takes Ryleigh’s breath away at how much it seems to soften Seirixori’s face even more. “You did tell me how much you hate it… I don’t know if I ever told you how much that meant, still means, to me. But for now…” Seir trails off, ducking as a small pebble nearly catches her in the face. She sighs, “For now, it’s best to not cause trouble, especially if we’re trying to get out of here. Besides,” Seir grins again and there’s kind of this malicious grin and a spark in her eyes. Her lips are moving but Ryleigh doesn’t hear anything.

 

There’s a shriek and a cry akin to horror, something about a devil, but Ryleigh’s attention is still on Seir, who just scrunches her nose with another grin. “There are _some_ perks to having devil blood.” She laughs and continues to lead them down the road with no further incidents.

 

Once they get to Omubagi Seir makes a beeline for The el-Mustafa Inn, the only place she is sure won’t shut their doors in her face. In fact, it’s the only place she’s ever even been to in Omubagi. She grins and waves at the man behind the desk. It takes him a moment, but Seir isn’t someone that is easily forgettable and he waves back.

 

Ryleigh hangs back, just watching, not having seen Seir _happily_ interact with strangers. Seir takes her into the common room, after handing the man way more coin than Ryleigh is sure he asked for, and a woman who _has_ to be related to the man up front comes in a smiles warmly at Seirixori.

 

Surprisingly, to all of them it seems, Seir gives the woman a hug. She tenses momentarily before patting Seir on the back and says a few words before disappearing into the kitchen.

 

They sit at a table and before Ryleigh can even ask, the woman is back with food and drinks. “Thank you, Ceren.” Seir says to her.

 

“Of course, you’re looking far better this time. Try not to vanish again, scared a couple of my regulars.”

 

Seir flushes and nods. As soon as Ceren walks away, however, Seir’s shoulders immediately drop and she groans in frustration when she can feel the tears start to burn her eyes.

 

She rubs at her face but it’s no use. “When will it stop?”

 

“When will what stop?” Ryleigh asks, after her initial scan of the room she hasn’t taken her eyes of Seir.  

 

Seir nearly whispers _‘everything’_ , but she stops herself, “The last time I was here…” she snorts, “The last time… we were in Bleakmourne. Well, you were all in Bleakmourne. I was here before I poofed there.” She rests her chin on her hand as she pushes around her food. “I missed her… the food made it hurt more.” She sighs, taking a bite, “I came back and grabbed spices for her… just before the Misha thing. It’s…” Seir groans through a sigh, “I think I might just eat berries for a while, after today.”

 

It takes Ryleigh a few moments to answer, partially because she’s trying to find the words, but she’s also trying to put together what Seir is saying and what she’s _not_ saying. She doesn’t quite have them, not _entirely_ familiar with the situation, “I don’t know what to tell you that would help.”

 

“It’s okay, I didn’t mention it for some kind of… well an answer _would_ be nice but I don’t expect one. I just needed to say it, really. I’m sorry if I keep… if I keep bringing her… it…if,” Seir groans, “I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable with bringing it up all the time, I just… I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it.” She whispers, her voice cracking at the end. “I already feel bad about bringing it up when I talked to Takara and Mielikki last. They said they weren’t busy but… I’m sure there was more important things than listening to someone cry about their… about their…”

 

Ryleigh reaches out and takes one of Seir’s hands, holding it light enough so that she can pull away if she wants, “I may not be able to give you advice on how to stop the pain or how to let go, but I will listen.” She reaches forward and wipes away some of the tears that are rolling down Seirixori’s cheek.

 

Seir pulls her hand away, not before giving it a squeeze in thanks, and she nods, unable to use her voice.

 

They eat in silence after that, Ceren stopping by every so often to give Seir more food and drink, even when she doesn’t ask for it. Ryleigh watches as Seir eats almost everything put in front of her and she worries about how little Seir has been eating since she last saw her.

 

There’s even a moment where Ryleigh catches Ceren watching her from across the room, sizing her up. It’s hard to not confront the woman about it, but it seems she’s at least looking out for Seirixori and Ryleigh won’t draw attention to it. Not yet.

 

When Seir finally realizes that she’s eaten too much, they get up to go to their room. Ryleigh stops to watch when Ceren pulls Seir aside to speak to her. There’s few words, Seir laughing and shaking her head at one point. The only thing Ryleigh can gather is the thanks Seir says to the woman.

 

She’s still chuckling when they get to the room.

 

“What was that about?” Ryleigh asks, too curious to let it go.

 

“She wanted to know if I was okay and if I needed to escape from you.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Seir just raises an eyebrow and grins, waving her hands at Ryleigh and then at herself, “Not exactly a visual that means anything good around here.”

 

Ryleigh gives a curt nod in understanding. Her anger regarding how others treat her friend and her people fills her but she closes her eyes and takes a moment to let the anger pass. When she opens them again it’s to Seirixori softly smiling at her. “What?”

 

“Thank you,” Seir says softly and shifts quickly into a small cat that curls up at the foot of the bed.

  
  


~*~*~

  


They’re back in Bellbury— Safika, Ryleigh, and Seirixori— having agreed (Seir not having _too_ much trouble talking them into it) to escort Cae back to the Keep to watch her and make sure she makes it back to her family.

 

Cae’s locked in her cage, still not any more talkative than she was the first time, Safika’s making her way through the keep, cleaning up behind them. No orcs, but several of the wild forest animals have taken back their shelter.

 

Seir’s grumbling at the door, several deep scratch marks run down her left cheek, across her neck, and end on her right shoulder.

 

Ryleigh walks up, cuping Seir’s undamaged cheek and a few of the marks close, the rest becoming much more shallow. “Usually people run _away_ from bears.”

 

Seir pouts, “I thought I could calm it down...” she mutters something and even though Ryleigh is right next to her, she can’t hear it.

 

“What was that?” Ryleigh’s thumb caresses Seir’s cheek and Seir freezes.

 

“Please stop,” she whispers. “I…” Seir brings her hand up to cover Ryleigh’s. She gives it a squeeze and then removes it from her face. She doesn’t let it go, however.

 

Ryleigh tries to step away, afraid she’s done something to hurt Seir. Seir doesn’t let her, aware of what Ryleigh might be thinking. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

 

Seir chuckles, “You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” Seir bites her lip and looks away, but doesn’t let Ryleigh respond, “I need you to stop with… with the touching.” She takes a breath, “I know, I _know_ that’s just who you are, and I…” her face flushes and she clears her throat. “I was in a very intense relationship for only _two_ weeks and I’m still not… I don’t think I’ll ever… I like you way more than I want to right now and I don't know if you even…” Seir closes her eyes using her hold on Ryleigh’s hand to anchor herself. Her free hand hovers momentarily near Ryleigh’s face but she drops it and Seir rests it on the center of Ryleigh’s chest. “Please, just for now, it’s too much.”

 

Ryleigh nods and Seir can tell she’s still hurt but she isn’t strong enough to try and make Ryleigh understand.  

  
  


~*~*~

  


Seirixori fidgets with the crest that she’s had sitting in one of her pouches since Ryleigh picked her up in Ardabeh. The ring is clenched in one hand, hanging from a strip of leather, similar to the one that holds the crest.

 

They decided to stay in Bellbury for a few days after bringing Cae back. Safika and Ryleigh having some kind of business nearby and Seir has a tentative outing with Misha. Seir loses track of time as she stares at the items, enough so that Misha actually comes looking for her, wondering if she’s decided to cancel.

 

It’s awkward and they don’t really talk for a while, they’re just sitting at the fountain in the town square, neither comfortable with the thought of being left alone with each other. Seir’s surprised that it’s Misha who breaks the silence.

 

“Is that hers?” Misha asks hesitant, but not nervous.

 

Seir nods, kind of surprised that Misha’s being so… cautious. “Yes… she… she never asked for them back. I don’t… I don’t know what to do with them. I still…” She sighs, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her, but having them… seeing them, knowing they’re still here… it hurts.”

 

“Do you think she’ll ever want to try again?”

 

“Part of me hopes so, another part of me…” Seir trails off, Ryleigh and Safika are walking towards them, back from whatever errand they were on. Ryleigh giving a wave when she catches Seir’s eye. “Another part of me is begging for me to get over it.”

 

Misha laughs lightly, “Good luck with that.” She gets up and walks back to her home without another word.

 

Seir stares after her, slightly confused, not entirely sure if anything that just happened was progress or not, when she turns back Ryleigh and Safika are taking a seat on either side of her. “Back so soon?”

 

Ryleigh tilts her head in confusion, “Seir, we were gone for twelve hours.”

 

“Oh,” Seir says, looking back down at the items in her hands.

 

There’s a heavy sigh, a mix of sadness and a little hurt, “I’ll be right back. I need to speak to the baroness.”

 

Seir nods, her fingers absentmindedly rubbing the ring, but her eyes follow Ryleigh as she walks away.

 

“You know, it’s okay to love them both.”

 

Seir jumps at Safika’s words, forgetting she is there, “Wh-what?”

 

“Gunnloda and Ryleigh. It’s okay to love them both.” She reiterates, “However, one of them left and the other one is still here.”

 

“I really don’t think Ryleigh is interested.”

 

Safika just laughs, “For as much as you see, you certainly are blind to her feelings.”

 

“But… doesn’t she… doesn’t she treat everyone like that?” Seir says, “She was really touchy with Urrak too and they were just friends.”

 

Safika shakes her head, standing, “She didn’t go look for Urrak.” She leaves just as Ryleigh comes back.

 

“What was that about?” Ryleigh asks.

 

“I’m...not entirely sure.” Seir lies. She looks at Ryleigh and notices the hardened look on her face. “Is something wrong?”

 

Ryleigh’s face softens, but only slightly, “No.” She holds out Poni, “I think there’s something that might need to be taken care of though.” She taps the stick on the crest in Seir’s hand. “I’m sorry if I’m over stepping, but I think you need to see her again. Talk to her at least. You deserve that and more… and…” Ryleigh trails off, “Well, I know you wanted to find Stool’s home. We should go see them as well.”

 

Seir closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself. She nods, “I do miss them. I never thought to… thank you.”

 

Ryleigh nods and they make their way to the teleporter.

  


~*~*~

  


It’s nearly the same as before. Only this time Kendall and Gunnloda are out in the market, shopping for what looks like ingredients. But Seir just stands there, a few yards away, unable to say anything. “I can’t,” she whispers so quietly that it nearly gets lost in the sound of all the hustle and bustle.

 

“Yes, you can.” Ryleigh says to her and pushes her forward.

 

Seir yelps as she stumbles, both Kendall and Gunnloda turn at the sound and the shadow that passes over them as Seir rights herself a few feet behind them.

 

“Seirixori,” Gunnloda says, surprised, and her hand moves out to steady her but she stops and squeezes Kendall’s arm instead.

 

“Hi.” Seir breathes out, and she looks up briefly but then goes right back to looking at her hands. “I...I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” She whispers, turning around, she takes a few steps, turns back around and almost throws the crest into Gunnloda’s hands. She moves to leave but a wall of black armor stops her. “Ryleigh, please, I— I can’t. It _hurts_ . _Please, let me go_.”

 

Ryleigh’s hands are on her shoulders, one moves to lift up her chin, and then goes back, heading her words from a few days ago. “Then don’t. But, Seirixori, if you give that back to her now, and go, you won’t be able to see Stool and I know that’s the last thing you want.”

 

Seir gives a few quiet sobs as she rests her forehead on Ryleigh’s shoulder. Ryleigh can now see Gunnloda close to tears as well. Seir doesn’t bother to wipe away the tears when she turns around, as she’s hiding her face again, “I’m… I’m sorry I just… I wanted to… I was wondering if I could… Do you still have Stool? I… I wanted to… can I see them?” she finally manages.

 

“Of course, lo— Seirixori. I would never…” Gunnloda stops herself. “They’ll be excited to see you.” she says instead.

 

“Finally, I thought we were going to stand out her until nightfall.”

 

“ _Kendall!”_

 

“What? It’s true. Come on, I’m hungry and you promised we’d have something other than pie and bread.”

 

“It’ll be okay.” Ryleigh whispers to Seirixori as they make their way to Kendall’s, Seirixori’s grip on her hand increasing as they get closer.

 

Kendall leads Seir to a room where it’s nearly pitch black, dark sheets and cloth covering the windows. Gunnloda hides away in the kitchen, cooking something. Ryleigh awkwardly hangs out in the hall, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as she can hear the sobs coming from the room Stool and Seir are in and the sniffles drifting in from the kitchen.

 

“Well, this is oddly familiar.” Kendall says as she walks into the hall, patting Ryleigh’s knee. “I don’t think she’ll go back this time, though.”

 

“I hope not.” Ryleigh says and then sits up quickly, not having wanted to say it out loud.

 

Kendall laughs, “I see. But I have to agree. From what I know… well. I think they both have some growing to do, even if one doesn’t think so.”

 

Ryleigh nods, not wanting to say more, afraid she might say too much. “Have you found anything out about where Stool is from?”

 

Kendall rolls her eyes at the change of topic, but let’s it go, “Not much. We’ll keep them safe here until you find out. She is welcome to see them whenever she wants. I admit, I’m surprised it took her so long to come here.”

 

Ryleigh’s silent, she wants to defend Seir, but she also knows it isn’t her place to divulge any of that information. It doesn’t help that she’s still angry at how Gunnloda left.

 

“You’re welcome to stay for dinner, I’m sure she’s in there stress cooking.” Kendall finally says.

 

“No, thank you.” Seirixori says as she comes back out of the room, Stool in her arms.

 

“You’re leaving so soon, Seirixori?” Stool asks her, slumping in her arms.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry.” She whispers, she opens her mouth to try and explain, to come up with something that won’t hurt them, but she can’t.

 

“Sorry, Stool. We’ve got to help out Eloise with a bandit problem and we can’t stay gone for too long.” Ryleigh says when she notices Seir’s struggle.

 

Seir set’s Stool down after a minute of just hugging him. She passes by Ryleigh with a quiet ‘thank you’ and then heads into the kitchen.

 

Ryleigh chats with Stool, but her ears strain for anything from the kitchen but all she can hear is quiet muttering.

 

It takes almost a half hour before Seir comes back and they say their goodbye’s. It isn’t until they’re back in Bellbury that Ryleigh asks Seir what happened.

 

Seir just shrugs, “I’m not sure.” And while Seir still looks upset, the overwhelming sadness that’s been following her around for over a month seems to have lessened. “But… I’ll be okay. Thank you for doing that... again.”

 

“I just want to see you happy.”

 

Seir smiles, her cheeks more red than pink, almost the same color as Ryleigh’s, “In time.” Seir says quietly, her lips lightly press against Ryleigh’s cheek. “I’m going to go sleep in the grove. I’ll see you in the morning.” She rushes out, walking away quickly.

 

“Okay.” Ryleigh blinks, her hand resting upon her cheek and she doesn’t move for some time.

  


~*~*~

 

Sometimes Ryleigh has a hard time telling what mood Seir is in. It was easier before, when Seir practically wore them on her sleeve, but just over the past month or two, she’s learned to settle into some kind of mask. However, her shifting always gives it away. The bear is usually because she’s angry, but it’s a hurt kind of angry and she uses it to protect herself. The dinosaur is when she’s sad and she uses it to try and make herself happy. The horse is generally when she just wants to run, but she always comes back.

 

The one that breaks her heart is whenever Ryleigh finds Seir as a kitten. They never talk about it, but Ryleigh’s come to learn that it’s when Seir’s at her most vulnerable and just… just so _sad_ and in need of comfort that she just can’t seem to ask for as a tiefling.

 

So when she finds her lounging around as a panther Ryleigh pulls up short. She’s never seen it before and only knows it’s Seir by the small leather bracelet around one of the paws that Safika threw at Seir one day after almost killing her, “ _I was hunting for food! How the hells was I supposed to know the deer was Seirixori!?”_

 

“Seirixori?” She asks, it’s quiet, she’s not sure why, she can tell by the movement of the ears that Seir knows she’s there.

 

Seir gets up and walks slowly over to her friend. Once there she plops on the ground next to her. Ryleigh shakes her head and sits down, giving Seir a few pats on the head before staring in the direction that Seir had been, wondering if she can figure out what’s going on in that head of hers.

 

It doesn’t take nearly as long as Ryleigh was afraid it would, but Seir eventually sits up and shifts back. “It doesn’t hurt as much, now.”

 

Ryleigh tilts her head slightly, not understanding, “What doesn’t?”

 

“I once asked Gunnloda what her favorite animal was, and she said it was a displacer beast, kind of like a panther but with more parts. It hurt too much to be one before, but…well. I did it today and…” Seir purses her lips, “It…” She lets out this huge sigh of relief, “I’m aware it will probably always hurt, but it’s kind of like this dull ache now that I can ignore instead of something that just feels so overwhelming that I can’t breathe.” She catches Ryleigh’s smile. “You’re beautiful when you smile.” It’s something she’s always noticed, but it’s like she’s just now allowing herself to _see._

 

Ryleigh blushes and Seir can’t help but watch her a few moments longer, “It’s almost time to head back,” Seir says and leaves and Ryleigh does nothing but watch her walk away.

 

~*~*~

 

Safika mouths something to Seir, Ryleigh isn’t sure what. Sometimes she’s a little miffed at the fact that they _both_ can read lips. Like they’re conspiring against her.

 

Seir laughs and nods, says something back and Safika has this shit eating grin on her face, “You _are_ conspiring against me!” Ryleigh says aloud and Safika snickers before heading back up the stairs.

 

They’re in the keep again, this time Seir managing to actually make friends with, and speak to, the bears inside. Something Ryleigh could watch over and over again, amazed at the process… and the happiness that always radiates from Seir.

 

Cae snickers in her cage and pulls Ryleigh out of her thoughts and she swears to every god that she’s going to learn how to read lips too.

 

“Ryleigh, come here for a moment.” Seir says to her and if she were to look, she could see how nervous she was, but Ryleigh’s never been the most observant.

 

Ryleigh reaches her, making sure to stay several feet away, knowing to let Seirixori set the boundaries. Her breath catches in her throat when Seir moves closer, barely an inch between them.

 

“I… wanted to apologize for… I feel like I made you wait. And it could have been for nothing. I didn’t believe… I didn’t believe Safika when she… when she told me. I couldn’t. I was in too much pain and I know it’s only been two months. Less than that really. Two months since it was just the three of us, but well, it’s probably only been a month or less since we…” Seir closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath, taking one of Ryleigh’s hands in her own. “It’s been maybe a month since I realized that I couldn’t be with Gunnloda again. That I wouldn’t do that to… to any of us. Less since it stopped hurting so bad…

 

“But you’ve been here.” Seir’s voice is almost in awe as she says this, “You’ve been here this entire time. And I… I just thought you were… I thought it was just because we were friends. So it… so when I knew, the last time we were here, when I knew that I… that I wanted more, it hurt. Gods it hurt…” she pauses, her face red. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say so much, I’m just nervous and I don’t know how to do this really. I don’t know at all if you even like me like I want you to like me, if I’m just reading too much into it. If Safika is seeing something that isn’t there… Is it too late to ask you to pretend I haven’t said anything?”

 

Ryleigh blinks a few times as she stares at Seirixori. Neither have moved but when Seir finally lowers her head and Ryleigh can hear the startings of her sniffles, she startles out of her stupor. She lifts her hand, hesitant at first, but it’s strong and sure when she touches Seir’s cheek.

 

“Seirixori,” Ryleigh says, cupping Seir’s cheek and gently raising her chin so that their eyes meet.

 

“Yeah?” She says quietly, her eyes tracing quickly over Ryleigh’s features, darting to her lips then back to her eyes.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?” Seir’s squeaks. “I didn’t… uh I didn’t ask..anything. Did I? I don’t remember asking, oh hells,” Seir groans, “...are you sure you don’t want to pretend because this is just a disaster.”

 

“It’s perfect.” Ryleigh whispers.

  



End file.
